Well hello….not sure if anyone is still out there who is even curious about what happened to monomeg, but I still live! :p
If no one is reading this then it is a good way for me to clear my head and give advice to myself. Is it weird that your own words can give you advice and be reassuring? That’s what this blog was great for and I think I need to get back to it!
It’s been a year since I’ve been back “in the swing of things”, but honestly it wasn’t getting back into the swing, it was finding the swing. Actually, maybe even finding the meadow, then the tree where the swing is (If such a scenic swing exists in real life I want to find it because that sounds nice. All jokes aside, it took me awhile to find my groove again.
When I was away it felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and coming back I lost all that I had gained. Very depressing, like what the heck right? Going abroad and having THE experience of a lifetime should make you feel uplifted, but I felt sad and missed my life and the people I shared those awesome six months with.
You’re probably wondering, oh you lost touch with them, but actually no! They are still very close and dear to me, my delta family and my two wonderful Raslatt gals. One Raslatt gal Jodie Chimes visited me a few weeks ago and it felt like a piece of Sweden returned to me, even though it was only a short weekend.
So I still managed to maintain the friendships I had made, but it was the lack of direction I had. I was ferociously looking for a job, going from interview to interview with no success. I decided to work at Second Cup again in order to be productive and make a little moolah in the process. I really enjoyed working there, and made some friends! But still working minimum wage, serving coffee and changing garbages for a living wasn’t exactly my dream job but I kept on going!
I was sad later in the year to move back to my parents house as my boyfriend and I had broken up. Just circumstances made us become distant which can happen.
Life looked up a bit when I finally got a job working as a Marketing and Communications Coordinator at a engineering firm Though with new jobs comes challenges also. It’s hard being new and a fresh graduate. You want to prove your worth, so I worked hard every day to earn my keep.
So yes, boring flashback I know, but I’m getting to the peak of this self revelation (spoiler?)
So basically, it’s been a year since Sween and I’ve had a long time to reflect and discover what my next move is. I went through a lot of crap everyone goes through of course, but I felt like I needed out again. I felt like Halifax wasn’t for me anymore and I wanted adventure and a new life and new experiences.
But right when I was down in the dumps things started to look up.
Shane and I rekindled our previous broken relationship, I moved in with my good friend from school, I’m on good terms with my family and other friends, I got a promotion at work, and I’m healthy! What can someone ask for more than that???
I’ve been so focused on the next thing, I missed what was right in front of me. I don’t need to move to an exciting city, or go on a exotic vacation or take a fancy new degree to be productive and happy and have direction. I need to appreciate what is consistent and right in front of my nose.
I have so many people who love and support me that I should spend time with here.
I didn’t realize how great my hometown was until Jodie came to visit me a few weeks ago. It actually has a lot to offer!
I need to calm down, and live each day happily. I can definitely plan and research (Lyly, you would be pleased to hear that 😉 ) and have new ideas but I need to see the happiness in the little things and in the familiar things, because really life is only made up of little things. Appreciate each one, and your world will become positive and direction will be clear.
It all comes down to (again) the mono persona, no one can force you to be happy, it comes from you and you alone. Be mono and be happy! Skol!