Overthinking Anyone?

Do you ever find yourself awake at 3 AM thinking about that embarrassing thing you did ten years ago? If no, you may find this ridiculous but if you’re someone like me you’ll understand the torment! I constantly suffer from obsessive thinking/worrying and I have to say it is exhausting!

I’m not sure why I worry the way I do. I’m always so concerned how I come across to others (so I guess I care too much about what people think), but it’s not that I have no confidence in myself I just hate when my character is judged. I like to think I’m a nice person that can do no wrong, but of course this isn’t true for anyone. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of, whether it was simply embarrassing or just a mistake, but for me it stays with me.

I remember one time I was on a school trip to Prague. I didn’t know anyone on the trip but I always wanted to go to Prague so I decided to go by myself and meet new people. It ended up being the worst trip ever! I did love the city and the things we did but the people were just terrible and I felt very stressed around them. Whenever I would talk to someone they would pretty much ignore me and hang out with their other friends which I found odd as most people from our school were very inclusive. Not only was I ignored but I was teased for making conversations. They said that Canadians made them uncomfortable because we talk too much. In my defense (in this particular instance) we were at a restaurant at a table for two hours. Was I supposed to sit across from them and be silent the whole time? I was just trying to be friendly by asking them where they were from and what courses they were taking in school. I don’t think that’s being that nosy! I felt so humiliated! To top it all off our bus got in an accident on the way back from Prague. The bus drive went on the wrong exit and decided to back up on the freeway instead of turning around at the next exit! A car ended up hitting us. We were all okay but it held us up for three hours and we almost missed our ferry! The icing on the cake was when I tried to get some sleep. I was trying to lay down across two bus seats and felt the seatbelt tighten on my stomach. Due to the tight belt I let out a fart that was definitely heard by some of my bus mates and I almost died.

This trip was three years ago and I still think about how embarrassing it was! I am never going to see those people again and I feel so stressed thinking about it. Now that is definitely ridiculous.

Lately though whenever I find myself going down the overthinking road of doom I try these tips to help calm my worried state.

  1. Talk it out, or write it out. It helps me to vocalize my feeling so it doesn’t consume me. If you don’t want to tell anyone you can always write in a journal to clear your head. It always does the trick.
  1. Self-assure. Tell yourself “it’s okay what happened”. Learn from it next time if it was a mistake or if it was embarrassing find a way to laugh about it and move on. If you cannot self-assure trying getting reassurance from someone else but don’t keep rehashing.
  1. Distract yourself. When you start to have those thoughts try to think of something else or do an activity that de-stresses you. Working out or reading always helps me.
  1. Find common humanity. Remember everyone has these moments in life! You are not alone!

I can’t stress (lol), the last one more. We all will commit stupid embarrassing things sometimes. It’s going to happen, it’s part of life. But we have to learn to be kind to ourselves and move on from them or else we will not be able to lead a happy life. Only you have the power to fight these feelings and see yourself for who you really are, a good person. If you have done bad things, you can always start fresh and make amends. It’s never too late. So let’s stop obsessing and start de-stressing!

How to be Interesting

Let me start this post by saying what you all are thinking – I haven’t written in awhile. I won’t apologize for it as there probably wasn’t much you missed these past few months anyway! For weeks I was wracking my brain saying  “I need to get back to blogging” and so I tried to think of something interesting to write about. I like to write about a lot of things; advice, travel, well –being, all the common blog stuff, but the sad thing is lately I find I am becoming less and less interesting. Don’t feel bad for me, I still have fun, but I’m certainly not the life of my own party or anything.

Do you ever come across people — either friends or family that constantly have crazy stories, like, insane stories that you would see in a movie and think WTF, how do these things happen to them? Not that I need the drama, but a good story is a memory that lasts a lifetime. But then I’m crazy to want funny or odd things to happen to me because that’s just looking for trouble that I don’t really need. What’s better?

This sounds horrible but a friend of mine was kind of mugged once and it was the funniest story ever. She literally turned around and someone had a clown mask on in broad daylight and grabbed her bag which she clung onto for dear life. Then she somehow was rescued by a young man and his Chihuahua who chased after him. I know I sound like a horrible friend to think that is funny but my friend was dying laughing the whole time she told me! So you see, something as traumatic as being mugged turned out to be a hilarious story that I still remember even though it was years ago.

I certainly don’t think I need to be THAT interesting. I’m not going to go to the rough side of town and hope I get mugged for a funny story, NO. BUT I feel like I’m an old lady with my life already passed by.

University was exciting but I was ill and not in the best social mood. I know it sounds silly that I’m so hard done by by having mono but I literally had the worst case scenario and for years was sick and didn’t know why or what was wrong. Hard to believe it was just the kissing disease, but here I am healthy and definitely not dying so for that I feel fortunate. Don’t let that deter you from kissing anyone though as most people have mono for a month and it’s kind of nice to have an excuse not to go to class (when it’s just mono for the month not 2 years).

Sweden was cool, and yes very interesting. I miss it all the time. Living in a residence with 10 guys and 1 girl certainly has strange and funny stories to go with it. They put bars on the windows towards the end of our stay because people in our residence were running on the roof tops. My roommate and good friend wrote the residence committee a letter referencing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets because he felt like Harry when the Dursley’s put bars on his window and he couldn’t go to Hogwarts. Seriously though, isn’t that a fire hazard? We could have been trapped without a way out because of those bars. I guess they somewhat took the letter of our conditions seriously because a year after I left the residence was sold and turned back into offices (and nicely renovated and probably met health code).

So now that I live in a new apartment with just one roommate (my fiancé)it’s quite low key. Not that I mind relaxing, but I’m in my twenties and I need to have fun.

SO to be productive and kick start this be interesting quest, I looked up “How to be interesting” on the world wide web.

This is what it came up with:

  1. Don’t be boring

Well jeese, what a good place to start. Am I already failing at this? I have no idea if I bore people or not. The people in this article who said don’t be boring say to be brief and be positive. Well, I’m not being very brief in this blog post and positive, well, I can do better with that. Sorry if I bored you with this post and didn’t seem that positive.

Moving on

  1. Be a good listener

The people who wrote this article that people who are good at captivating others have good listening skills. I’m working on this all the time. It’s tough to listen especially if someone is being a pompous dumb ass but oh well at least you can try.

  1. Talk about the other person’s interests

I have done this in the past, and once while I was studying abroad 2 Swedes said I asked too many questions and basically said I was annoying. We were on a school trip, I knew no one and we were sitting at a restaurant eating supper facing one another. Are we supposed to just sit there and chew silently? By the way don’t think all Swedes are reserved, it just was those two on my trip to Prague that had issues speaking to anyone. My other Swedish friends were very friendly. Anyway, some may call it nosy, I just say I am interested in other people’s stories. Hence why I hear these awesome stories from other people all the time. So I think I’m pretty good on this one.

  1. Have 3 good stories

Hmmm, this is already an issue. Something to work on.

  1. Be charismatic

I think I’m okay here. I’m a bit too passionate with everything and anything so maybe with this I can tone it down.

  1. Be somewhere interesting

Well dang. I live in a small town so this is hard to do. Maybe I should start a band so I can tour the world. Maybe it’s time to move to New Zealand like I’ve always wanted to do.

  1. Embrace your innate weirdness

Not sure where I fall on the weirdness scale, but this is very cool. Own your quirks people! That’s what will make us interesting.

Hopefully these tips have helped give you some insight as they have me. Life is short so they say so it’s up to us to make our own lives interesting. Another mono perspective way of thinking!

If anyone has any interesting things to share, please do so in the comments!

For further reading on this, see these articles:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicahagy/2011/11/30/how-to-be-interesting/#190751744039

http://theweek.com/articles/450572/7-ways-most-interesting-person-room

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Interesting