How to be Interesting

Let me start this post by saying what you all are thinking – I haven’t written in awhile. I won’t apologize for it as there probably wasn’t much you missed these past few months anyway! For weeks I was wracking my brain saying  “I need to get back to blogging” and so I tried to think of something interesting to write about. I like to write about a lot of things; advice, travel, well –being, all the common blog stuff, but the sad thing is lately I find I am becoming less and less interesting. Don’t feel bad for me, I still have fun, but I’m certainly not the life of my own party or anything.

Do you ever come across people — either friends or family that constantly have crazy stories, like, insane stories that you would see in a movie and think WTF, how do these things happen to them? Not that I need the drama, but a good story is a memory that lasts a lifetime. But then I’m crazy to want funny or odd things to happen to me because that’s just looking for trouble that I don’t really need. What’s better?

This sounds horrible but a friend of mine was kind of mugged once and it was the funniest story ever. She literally turned around and someone had a clown mask on in broad daylight and grabbed her bag which she clung onto for dear life. Then she somehow was rescued by a young man and his Chihuahua who chased after him. I know I sound like a horrible friend to think that is funny but my friend was dying laughing the whole time she told me! So you see, something as traumatic as being mugged turned out to be a hilarious story that I still remember even though it was years ago.

I certainly don’t think I need to be THAT interesting. I’m not going to go to the rough side of town and hope I get mugged for a funny story, NO. BUT I feel like I’m an old lady with my life already passed by.

University was exciting but I was ill and not in the best social mood. I know it sounds silly that I’m so hard done by by having mono but I literally had the worst case scenario and for years was sick and didn’t know why or what was wrong. Hard to believe it was just the kissing disease, but here I am healthy and definitely not dying so for that I feel fortunate. Don’t let that deter you from kissing anyone though as most people have mono for a month and it’s kind of nice to have an excuse not to go to class (when it’s just mono for the month not 2 years).

Sweden was cool, and yes very interesting. I miss it all the time. Living in a residence with 10 guys and 1 girl certainly has strange and funny stories to go with it. They put bars on the windows towards the end of our stay because people in our residence were running on the roof tops. My roommate and good friend wrote the residence committee a letter referencing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets because he felt like Harry when the Dursley’s put bars on his window and he couldn’t go to Hogwarts. Seriously though, isn’t that a fire hazard? We could have been trapped without a way out because of those bars. I guess they somewhat took the letter of our conditions seriously because a year after I left the residence was sold and turned back into offices (and nicely renovated and probably met health code).

So now that I live in a new apartment with just one roommate (my fiancé)it’s quite low key. Not that I mind relaxing, but I’m in my twenties and I need to have fun.

SO to be productive and kick start this be interesting quest, I looked up “How to be interesting” on the world wide web.

This is what it came up with:

  1. Don’t be boring

Well jeese, what a good place to start. Am I already failing at this? I have no idea if I bore people or not. The people in this article who said don’t be boring say to be brief and be positive. Well, I’m not being very brief in this blog post and positive, well, I can do better with that. Sorry if I bored you with this post and didn’t seem that positive.

Moving on

  1. Be a good listener

The people who wrote this article that people who are good at captivating others have good listening skills. I’m working on this all the time. It’s tough to listen especially if someone is being a pompous dumb ass but oh well at least you can try.

  1. Talk about the other person’s interests

I have done this in the past, and once while I was studying abroad 2 Swedes said I asked too many questions and basically said I was annoying. We were on a school trip, I knew no one and we were sitting at a restaurant eating supper facing one another. Are we supposed to just sit there and chew silently? By the way don’t think all Swedes are reserved, it just was those two on my trip to Prague that had issues speaking to anyone. My other Swedish friends were very friendly. Anyway, some may call it nosy, I just say I am interested in other people’s stories. Hence why I hear these awesome stories from other people all the time. So I think I’m pretty good on this one.

  1. Have 3 good stories

Hmmm, this is already an issue. Something to work on.

  1. Be charismatic

I think I’m okay here. I’m a bit too passionate with everything and anything so maybe with this I can tone it down.

  1. Be somewhere interesting

Well dang. I live in a small town so this is hard to do. Maybe I should start a band so I can tour the world. Maybe it’s time to move to New Zealand like I’ve always wanted to do.

  1. Embrace your innate weirdness

Not sure where I fall on the weirdness scale, but this is very cool. Own your quirks people! That’s what will make us interesting.

Hopefully these tips have helped give you some insight as they have me. Life is short so they say so it’s up to us to make our own lives interesting. Another mono perspective way of thinking!

If anyone has any interesting things to share, please do so in the comments!

For further reading on this, see these articles:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicahagy/2011/11/30/how-to-be-interesting/#190751744039

http://theweek.com/articles/450572/7-ways-most-interesting-person-room

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Interesting

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Winning The Mental Health Lottery

Everyone dreams of winning the lottery, right? I know I do! Just imagine all the things you could do in life if you won that 55 million jackpot? If you’re reading this, like me, you are probably thinking about all the things you would want to do. Pay off debts, buy amazing properties and maybe even quit your job and travel the world. The sky is the limit! Of course money can’t truly buy happiness but it certainly can change your life… that is if you buy a ticket. Many people say – “what’s the point? I could buy tickets my whole life and never win”. Well you certainly won’t win if you don’t purchase a ticket at all! It’s funny how the brain works.

This concept faces me every day but it certainly isn’t just lottery tickets making feeling skeptical. From time to time I get down, I feel worried and stressed and sometimes for no reason at all. What makes me feel good about it is that others too go through this, but the thing that makes me feel hopeless is, what do I do to get over this hump? I’ve done the late night stress eating, the sleeping for hours, not connecting with friends and family, feeling dread for the next day not knowing what awaits. Where did it get me do you think? Continuing these detrimental cycles? No where. So what’s next do you think?

Mental health is a tricky thing. Anyone going through it knows how awful it feels to be in limbo land of emotions where there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I felt that way for awhile, but then one day I became fed up and said no more, what can I do to help myself? And from that moment on I did everthing in my power to feel the best I could and figure out the best coping skills that worked for me when I did feel like times were tough again. But the key word was ME. I read books, I saw professionals, I found support, but it was MY determination and perseverance that got me there. I always look for new things that are out there it never ends, and if you’re reading this now you can seize this day right now and do something anything that will help yourself get over this rut. The struggle is still there but it’s comforting to know you are doing everything you can to make yourself better.

If you’re lying in the dark with the blinds closed, open those curtains and let the sun shine in. Start taking advice your doctor and read that book on mindfulness. Call your local gym and set up an appointment with a trainer to have a workout plan. Play tennis, go swimming, stroll the mall, do an activity, talk to your friends and family again. Even if it’s the last thing you want to do, do it. It’s what you need to do.

If you catch yourself thinking “what’s the point of doing anything?  I probably will always feel like this” than you are most likely going to continue feeling that way. We need to push ourselves and find what works for us. Accept what you feel, know it’s not permanent and ask yourself “what do I want to feel right now” and go from there.

We won’t always have the answers as to why we feel the way we do or how to stop it, but we still need to live our lives. Once I found determination and perseverance I won the lottery. It’s time for us all to buy that ticket.

How to handle your past, present and future for a happier you

When I think of the past, present and future, three things (or movies I should say) immediately come to my mind: The Lion king, Groundhog Day and A Christmas Carol. Random yes, but very significant. The Lion King tells the story about a young lion named Simba who has a painful past who learns to accept it. In Groundhog day there is a man who is stuck living the same day on a loop needing to re examine his life and priorities.  Lastly there is a Christmas Story, which shows us how a bitter old miser transforms into a kind, gentle man.  What is the common theme here? They all represent how the past, present and future has an effect in making or breaking a person.

These realities encompass our everyday lives. The past is where we’ve come from and what we’ve done, the present is who we are now and the future is who we want to be. Putting it that way makes it seem simplistic, but overall these three realities can be troublesome to everyone.  Here are tips on how to handle these three realities and how to live a happy successful life.

Your PAST

  1. Let go

The past definitely plays a huge role in our life as it’s our story. It dictates where we came from and what we’ve been through. Although it’s your story, it shouldn’t define who you are now. Having memories and mementos is nice but if you are constantly looking to your past in a negative regretful way you will never be at peace. The past is done, it cannot be changed. This is why it’s important to accept it and move on.

  1. Learn from your mistakes

The wonderful Nelson Mandela said “I never lose, I either win or learn”. This is something we all need to keep in mind when we make mistakes. Things may never go our way and we may make bad decision in our lifetime but we shouldn’t feel guilty or constantly think about the mistakes we’ve made. The important thing is to learn from it and move on.

  1. Have self-compassion

We are all human which means we are not perfect. We make mistakes all of the time, but in addition to learning from our mistakes we must have self-compassion for ourselves.  Everyone is always concerned about treating others well but then they forget about ourselves. We are our own worst enemy at times and forget to cut ourselves some slack.  Yes loving others is important but we need to love ourselves first.

Your PRESENT

  1. Live in the now

People are always reading about how they can be happy in the future, but the truth is you can be happy right now in this moment .  Life is what we make it, so why not live in the present and truly enjoy every moment without worrying about the past and future.  Mindfulness is an important practice everyone should encompass in their everyday lives. I highly recommend reading books by Thich Nhat Hahn as he has great insight on how to be mindful in everyday activities and how to truly live and be happy in the present.

  1. Don’t take anything for granted

Be grateful for what you have. Hyman Schachtel said “Happiness is not having what you want but wanting what you have” and this is so true. We often take for granted what we have because it becomes part of our daily routine, but it is important to stop and appreciate all of the things you have instead of focusing on what you don’t have. It will truly change your outlook and allow you to be more positive

  1. Applaud yourself for who you are now

We’ve come a long way to be who we are today. Sure we haven’t been perfect but there must be times that we have succeeded and overcome obstacles. Applaud yourself for your success and be happy about who you are. If you’re not happy about who you are, look for ways to change.

Your FUTURE

  1. Write down your hopes and dreams

We all have dreams, and by writing them down allows us to plan for our future with the hope of making our dreams a reality. One way people do this is write a bucket list of all the things they want to do before they’re 100. I highly recommend doing this with another person, it always makes for a good conversation!

  1. Set goals

Goal setting is very important for everyone to do. Without concrete realistic goals to achieve we can put ourselves in a rut. Instead of a New Year’s resolution for the year, have 1-3 goals you want to achieve each month. You can even try to have a long term goal but the key with goals is you need to have a deadline and they need to be realistic. Keeping a journal or your goals and tracking your progress is helpful.

  1. Be organized

 

You can’t accomplish everything all at once, but by being organized and having a plan you can be successful in achieving your goals and dreams. Look to others to help keep you motivated, and look for opportunities as they arise.  If you’re organized you will more likely accomplish your goals and reach your full potential. You don’t want to look back on your life regretting what you did not do, so plan now and organize your life and your priorities. You will be happy you did.

 

We all come from different backgrounds and have different experiences but all and all we all want the same things, a happy fulfilled life. Simba, Phil Connors and Ebenezer Scrooge all found a way to accomplish their goals and find success and we can too. It’s all about changing perspective and taking advantage of all opportunities that come our way.

Acceptance

  

Acceptance. A word everyone loves, but yet can be the most hardest thing to achieve.
If you think about it, acceptance is so important and apparent in our everyday lives (or it needs to be apparent). We are born and welcomed by our society, our families, school, friends, jobs….it’s an endless cycle of life events where we all achieve and need acceptance in these areas. Sometimes it isn’t always easy; to get accepted into that top university, or feel like you’re accepted by the “cool crowd”, or by your boss; but we carry on and do our best to achieve this success.

What we don’t realize sometimes if the most important type of acceptance; self acceptance.

Many people go through hard times, making mistakes and regretting past decisions. Others deal with mental and physical illness where its hard for them to get out of bed, and you just ask “why me? Why do I have to deal with this?” You may feel like it’s only you and everyone else has it figured out, but that’s not true. People may not struggle in the same way, but they have their own troubles and worries where they ask the same question. People may seem happy on Facebook and post positive things, but research has shown people only appear to be happy and put together. In reality, they are human just like you. So the next time you get livid looking at how perfect everyone looks on Facebook while your life is a mess, realize they may feel just like you, and see it as a nice platform where peoples positivism shines through.(Read more on the facebook study here) 

http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/27/youre-not-alone-misery-has-more-company-than-you-think/

I recently read an amazing book called “The World We Have” by Thich Nhat Hanh and in the book they spoke of a Vietnamese nun that was that was diagnosed with terminal cancer and only had a few months left to live. Accepting her fate she went to a Buddhist temple to live out her final months. She miraculously recovered and lived a full cancer free life. How could that be? Hanh writes that she found peace by accepting her diagnosis…. “and with that peace you can sometimes continue to live.” It goes to show how important acceptance can be.

You have to tell yourself in the mirror and say (as my sisters best friend says) “I am fucking awesome” (excuse the language). You have to believe you are awesome, and own your mistakes problems and imperfections and learn from them. Use your struggles to help others, and find friends and activities that make you feel whole and productive. If you feel you need to work through some things and overcome some obstacles in your life, consult with your doctor or psychologist and find concrete ways to overcome your struggles. Acceptance comes from within, but doesn’t mean you can’t have love and support along the way. We may all be one person, and live life for us, but only we can help ourselves. Being mono doesn’t mean you do it alone. Talk to family, talk to friends, volunteer with a cause that is important to you. Do anything to get clarity on your situation, and it will help.

I myself have had a hard time accepting myself over the years. Everyone has always said I was sensitive,and I always thought of it negatively, but then I realized, being sensitive also helps me in a positive way, as I am very perceptive of others peoples feelings and am extremely empathetic and compassionate to those who struggle. I now just tell myself “there is nothing wrong with feeling this way”, “I am me and no one else”, “I cannot be someone I am not” “I’m going to take advantage of what life has given me”.”I’m going to accept me for me, and if people don’t like me, then they are not worth my time”. 

I’ve realized I am very compassionate to others, but not to myself…how strange. I think it’s time we all developed a little self compassion….let’s be nice to ourselves! 

It is also good to recognize when you are wrong, and learn from mistakes but you have to accept your mistakes, accept you are wrong and say “I will learn from this” That in itself is accepting yourself and making a change for the better.

Self Acceptance is key to feeling better and being able to overcome lifes challenges, especially if you have a mental or physical illness. Life isn’t fair sometimes, but if you think about it life ins’t fair for everyone, so in a way that is fair! We all go through it. The key to getting better mentally and physically is to accept your circumstance, and then move on and get the support and guidance you need to get better and succeed. Acceptance comes from you, and is a huge aspect to the mono lifestyle. Only you can do it. So why not today?

  
http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/acceptance-or-a-life-of-endless-suffering-